dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
