I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
