I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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