ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
