haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
