Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize