good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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