I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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