i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
