Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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