My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
