my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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