Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
