is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize