I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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