Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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