Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
