You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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