it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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