it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
