so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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