dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
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40s are totally the cure
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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