this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
