When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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