HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
