ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize