life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
