You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
