Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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