Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
