is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize