That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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