I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize