Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
