i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
