take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
