Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Panties = found
Randomize
