i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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