went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
