Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
