I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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