So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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