I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
