I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize