So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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