Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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