it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
