DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
