Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
