My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
