Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
