I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
