just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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