____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
