i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will be naked everywhere
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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