great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
