i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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