i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize